Blogalongabond #8: Live and Let Die

Live and Let Die

It’s time for James Bond: The Roger Moore years. As a kid, I used to love the vast majority of the Moore Bond films. They were a whole heap of fun, not too serious, and kept me perfectly entertained. I’ve no idea whether it will be the same kind of experience this time around, but I’m cautiously looking forward to the whole experience. I know they’re not going to be as good as the classic Connery entries, and that they’re not in the true spirit of Bond, but I can still enjoy them, right? But then again, we’re not off to the best of starts.

I just don’t care for Live and Let Die. I don’t care about anything that happens in Live and Let Die. I’m frankly bored by the whole experience of Live and Let Die. I typed some of this whilst watching Live and Let Die. I shan’t be writing an awful lot about Live and Let Die. I like typing the title over again and again though, because each time I do it allows me to sing aloud to “Live and Let Die”. *Do do doo, do do doo, do do*, etc etc.

Title Sequence: So yeah, I really love the theme song. It’s one of those bangin’ choons that you can’t get out of your head for days after hearing it again. It’s as good as the Shirley Bassey themes, but you know, kinda cool. It makes me want to run around the house pretending to be Bond, using a banana for a gun like I used to do when I was younger (and still do from time to time).

Meeting 007: I quite like that there’s no fanfare for this new Bond, none of the “oh look, it’s a new Bond” set-up that Lazenby received. He’s just there, post coitus – classic Rog. 

MI6: Moore doesn’t go to MI6, MI6 comes to him. If I were M, I wouldn’t be putting up with this shit. Good for Q though, he had no intention of running around after 007 and sat this one out.

Car: Fuck cars, taking a double decker bus out for a spin is where it’s at. Especially when you’ve got mad bus skills like Bond…this was one of my favourite bits. I’d also love this little Corgi model, the roof comes off and everything!

Pussy Galore?: I guess what we’re really asking here, is if this new Bond likes to roger more (phew, had to get that in somewhere)? Well, he certainly likes to mix it up a bit. He takes a young girl’s virginity, and beds the first African-American Bond girl. One’s a psychic, one’s a psycho, both are forgettable.

Villain: Mr Big is shit. Why is he shit? Because he wears a terrible disguise for no discernible reason, he believes in psychics, and he’s below Bond. Seriously, this is James Bond we’re talking about, send in the FBI to stop drug smugglers, not Britain’s finest. Oh, and worst death scene ever?

Henchmen: Mr Big’s henchmen are shit too. Why are they so utterly incapable of killing Bond? And what’s so fucking funny about it? Tee Hee Johnson is a disgrace, Whisper should be called Wispa, and I really wish that “the man who cannot die” could.

Chums: Aww, Quarrel Junior. I miss Quarrel awfully.

Death Count: I was honestly too bored to count. So lets just say ‘some’.

International Man of Mystery: Oh goodness, Mike Myers got some material here. This Blaxploitation Bond will have provided the main inspiration from the Bond series for Foxxy Cleopatra, and this is also the entry where the inability for Bond to be killed became laughable.

Best Bit: No contest.

Current Bondometer Ranking: 8th (Bonds Ranked: 8)


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