I’ve spent a good deal of the last day or so wracking my brain in trying to figure out which is the better movie; Muppet Treasure Island or Muppets in Space. The reason I’m doing this is because I think they’re both a bit shit really, and that’s a shame because they were the two muppets films that were released when I was a nipper – these were the muppets films I grew up with. As a result, I grew to love the muppets more through Muppet*Vision 3D at MGM Studios in Florida than I did sat in a cinema screen. I think I’ve come to the conclusion that Muppet Treasure Island may in face be the worst of the worst – edging it because of Kevin Bishop’s awful presence as Jim Hawkins – but I shall still endeavour to find you five things I like about it. I’m nice like that. Here we go:
1) Billy Connolly
For the first twenty minutes of the movie the only muppets we spend any real time with are Gonzo and Rizzo, and they’re overshadowed by the awful (really, really awful) Kevin Bishop and his pre-pubescent singing voice – so thank goodness Connolly’s on hand to make it not entirely awful.
2) Statler and Waldorf
Some of the greatest gags in the muppet movies tend to be the simplest, and having Statler and Waldorf as the figurehead on the front of the ship is one of those simple but brilliant jokes. Whoever thought up that idea, give yourself a pat on the back.
3) Tim Curry
Wow, just wow. Tim Curry is absolutely great in this movie, isn’t he. We know he’s not a great actor, but he was born to play these ridiculous hammed up roles and give them everything he’s got. Again, he benefits from playing opposite the awful Kevin Bishop (did I mention how awful he is?) but it would be a cold-hearted man who didn’t raise a smile watching this performance. He’s everything a 90’s pirate should be; camp, sinister, and fantastic at buckling the swash.
4) The Music
The music in Muppet Treasure Island is fantastic, oh, with one small caveat though. AS LONG AS IT ISN’T ACCOMPANIED BY KEVIN BISHOP’S AWFUL SINGING. My personal favourite is ‘Cabin Fever’ and it’s one of the few aspects of the film that I remember really enjoying as a kid. The music in general is fantastic though, and Hans Zimmer’s score more than equals Tim Curry in the swashbuckling stakes.
5) Sweetums
I came dangerously close to including Sweetums as one of the five things that’s great about The Muppets Movie but he just missed out, so I’ll talk about how much I like him now. I love that some of the muppets are men inside suits yet they still fit in perfectly alongside the rest of the muppets. Sweetums is adorable. He looks like a scary monster but, as his name suggest, he’s really a big old sweetie. This movie plays on that so well. It appears that Sweetums is fighting for the baddies until he tells Kermit: “Are you kidding? I love you guys!” DAWW.
And finally, it’s time for Beaker Watch.
After a fairly brief entry about a very weak muppets film, this is a chance to say something a lot more positive about the movie. LOOK AT BEAKER’S AWESOME HAT! Beaker’s on the ship for the lions share of the movie and it’s just nice to have him around. He makes me laugh just by simply showing up on the corner of the screen, being involved in a classic slapstick moment, or being tied to a mast alongside Bunsen and Fozzie. What a guy.
The Razzmatazz 
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